North Pole

Posted on Monday September 1st 2008 at 12:29am. Its tags are listed below.

North Pole

I went through a few more boxes, but only found various report cards and test scores…rather boring. It was strongly suggested that I do not skip 2nd grade, Alex tended to copy other students’ work instead of listening to the teacher, and Betsy wrote in 4th grade that in 20 years she wanted to be an excellent accountant. My favorite thing from the perusal is John’s letter to Santa, written in 1996 (14 years old), in what must be 20 point Courier New font:

“Dear Santa Clause*,

What’s up? Well, I’m fine. As you can predict I’m going to introduce you to a (my) Christmas List! Oh, and one more thing — the gifts are not listed in any kind of order.

  1. R/C flying model airplane
  2. a safe
  3. telescope
  4. electric coin sorter that puts the coins in wrappers
  5. a bow and arrow
  6. R/C car (Tyco, rechargeable battery)
  7. hockey skates
  8. a new saucer or sled (saucer—curved, with handles)
  9. Nerf Ballzooka Blaster or crossbow
  10. hockey pads (for a goalie, also would like goalie stick, or reg. player)
  11. sports cards (baseball, football, or hockey)
  12. autographed baseball, football, or puck—Santa, you know who
  13. Devil Sticks
  14. Aura Interactor
  15. Deluxe Talkboy Cassette Player and Recorder
  16. Super GameBoy and games
  17. new GameBoy (“Play It Loud” series, clear color—see through)
  18. Doc’s wireless remote or arcade command table top controller (SNES)
  19. SNES games (NHLPA 96’, Madden 96’, FIFA 96’ a MLB game—1996)
  20. Deon Sanders Cowboys jersey (home or away)
  21. cash
  22. gift certificate (to a music store, clothes, toy, or sporting good store)
  23. clothes (Levi’s jeans, long sleeve, casual shirt)
  24. walkman
  25. L.G.B. car or engine, more track
  26. bigger bike
  27. go-kart
  28. laptop (IBM or GATEWAY)
  29. own TV and VCR (with cable)
  30. Martin Broduer, Gregg Maddux, or Michael Irvin jersey (home or away)
  31. Hess truck
  32. a 1 or 2 year subscription to BBCM (Beckett Baseball Card Monthly)
  33. a 1 or 2 year subscription to S.I.K (Sports Illustrated for Kids)
  34. electric gutiar
  35. a new Dallas Cowboys or Atlanta Braves cap

Right now you probably hate me, but you know you don’t have to get me all these things. Though I would like some of them. Thanks!

Love,

*signed*

John Ratcliffe-Lee

(I addressed this letter to Santa because I wanted to keep the tradition.)”

* Fucking Tim Allen. I thought that was how you spelled Santa Claus until like, 10th grade.

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